I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
