buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
