This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i need to put some appletini on your dick
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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