Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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