how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
