Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
