hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
