I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
