I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am one with the molecules
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
