So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
