yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
