We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
