getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
