this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
