Got a toothbrush?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
