Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
