Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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