Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
