we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
