Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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