Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
