new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
