So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
