it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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