dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
