I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
