Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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