i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
