But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
