I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
