I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
