that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
