Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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