You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
