....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
