So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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