I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
