that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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