On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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