I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
