i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
