New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
