If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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