I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
