He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
