Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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