bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
