I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
