But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
