the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
