Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
